Each year if in New York for New Year’s Eve, my wife and I “run away from home”. We live on 56th, just off Park Avenue in New York. So to escape the bedlam of midtown Manhattan and to ensure we aren’t even tempted to go tromping through the winter slush in the direction of Times Square with its teeming crowds, we go 20 blocks north to the Upper East Side — a venerable and gracious part of Manhattan.

We check into the legendary Carlyle hotel, the art deco gem that has been a bastion of New York since 1930 — a hub of elegance and gracious taste.  Our suite has a baby grand piano, a terrace, and beds that you sink into, layer by layer.

Upon arrival circa lunch-time on the 30th, we walk over to Sant Ambroeus on Madison Avenue (which originally started life as a Milano pastry shop before migrating to Greenwich Village)…for a palate and soul-satisfying lunch — and arguably the best cappuccino in town. Then to Maison du Chocolat for a velvety dark hot chocolate. A traipse past numerous legendary retailers and we end up at Crawford Doyle, a book store reminiscent of how book stores should be. In short, knowledgeable staff, a carefully tapered and updated selection, civilized people capable of insightful exchanges or at least literate banter. They love hearing of our ritual in this store — it’s a succession of little experiences Henry James would have fashioned into an evocative tale with such aplomb.

A drink in Bemelman’s Bar at the Carlyle as a reminder of bars that invite human interaction and almost help you mature a few notches by being in them. Then dinner at the sumptuously appointed Carlyle Restaurant where classics like rack of lamb and Long Island Duck with Ligonberry sauce are rendered as they should be. A beautiful Cote du Rhone,  Chapoutier Hermitage (1999) caressed our palates with its power and finish.

An Ipod dock in the suite, a vintage cognac, a few puffs of my cigar polish off the first evening.

The 31st finds us lingering over Cinammon Toast and fruit, The Financial Times and some brief correspondence. Snow is falling — we are truly in the midst of a winter wonderland. Our tradition is a long walk through Central Park, to Belvedere Castle, across the Ramble and back, emerging near the Metropolitan Museum. We beat the crowds (just!) at J.G. Melon’s. Even the Michelin Guide gives it gushing mention. But generations of New Yorkers have already discovered and adored this place, for its jovial, no-nonsense, bustling atmosphere, and one of the best, most unfussy, but juicy and memorable burgers you’ll ever have.  A little shopping and we’re back. We’ll meet some friends for an early drink at Plaza Athenee (a bit of the Continent graciously transported to New York), then partake in another ritual, New Year’s Eve dinner at the exceptional Cafe Boulud (one of Daniel Boulud’s most exceptional restaurants, less flashy than his flagship Daniel, but with real soul). It’s across the street from The Carlyle, so the commute is just right.

We travel for a living…so for us familiarity rather than novelty is what we seek in our time to ourselves. But rituals of this ilk allow us to deepen enjoyment and appreciation each year, to bask rather than flit. Such times liberate our attention and energy and focus for each other, for other loved ones, and the abundant joy of life lived with grateful appreciation — a true “recharge” and “re-creation”.

Happy New Year everyone!

Just landed in Hong Kong…what a week!

At home in New York last week, discussions with two potential partners, scoping two major assignments, sneaking in a lovely 10 kilometer walk from near the pier to the West Village to Soho to Chinatown to Little Italy back through Washington Square Park, to Union Square and finally up Park Avenue. What a city!

On a plane for an 8 hour lay-over in Dubai, signing papers, meeting with some people on our team. Overnight to Singapore — “jet advance” rather than “jet lag” taking over.

A quiet Sunday — taking the family of one of our partners out to Morton’s (of all places) in Singapore. Opened a Meerlust Rubicon 2004 that was stunning, followed by a Lan Rioja Private Edition 2002 that was also breath-taking. Other than the classic Morton’s Key Lime Pie having lost any residual tartness and therefore having devolved into an “impostor”, all was well. The Avo Maduro cigar capped a great dinner.

Monday saw three fairly intense coaching engagements, two client email responses that were needed on quite complex issues, a phone review of progress on a major project, lunch with a team-member…whew!

Today we’ve just landed in Hong Kong. We’ll take our hike up the Peak tomorrow, have our favorite Peking Duck at the 2 Michelin starred Summer Palace at The Island Shangri La, engage with a client, meet another prospective partner, and then meet and hopefully make some new friends (fellow members of the Chaine des Rotisseurs from the US who are in town) for dinner at M’s on the Fringe.

Then a day off to visit some favorite haunts, get a massage and get ready to head back to Singapore on Friday for an action packed afternoon. In between, replying to requests, counseling colleagues, reading some superb books, and realizing that an abundance of experiences is a great gift — it keeps us fresh, sharp, open, responsive.

Boredom is a choice. I realize this is an atypical week by most standards, and we’re blessed by stimulus: cultural, culinary, relationship-based and business-related. But that’s come by plying a trade with passion, seeking out new frontiers, keeping eyes, hearts and mind (relatively) open.

We’ve got some major challenges and opportunities ahead this month, and if we tackle them imaginatively and effectively, and get a few friendly winds…wow!  Either way, it’s worth nothing else but full engagement. Whatever happens, we’ll be richer in experiences, more abundant in insight and understanding. We’ll be richer.

I’m tempted to say “I can’t wait!” But I can. To think otherwise would be to miss the precious now — the abundance of possibility in this next moment, the  next idea, the next flutter of emotion, the next shimmering of perception…flowing from everything that abounds right now.

Let’s wallow… in life!

My wife and I have just returned (despite all manner of resistance from the weather Gods) from Victoria, BC.

A few years back, this was an annual pilgrimage to attend what used to be called “The Cherry Blossom Walking Festival”. It was an IML (International Marching League) sponsored event, and we used to participate in the 10k (6 mile) and 21 kilometer (13 mile) events.

Victoria is a gorgeous town, scenically and architecturally. The walks, particularly the 21 kilometer take you on a stunning tour of Victoria, through the city, along the water and more. The first year we participated, we did so without any training. Boy did we learn the value of preparation! Amidst an international collection of walkers, some from Asia Pacific, some in military regalia (a contingent from Germany as it turned out), we limped across the finish line barely able to walk.

This set off a new hobby, distance walking and then race-walking. It’s amazing that what we barely completed in 5 hours, 3 years ago, we now do in about 3 hours and 30 minutes on a good day, or 3 hours and 45 minutes after taking too much of a winter off. And the 10 kilometer walk that once was such a challenge to do in an hour and a half, is now something we do several times a week at home in New York. Believe me this is not due to great athleticism. Anyone who has followed the ‘palate titillations’ portion of this Blog knows the hedonistic joys and excess to which I’m very happily prone.

Rather, the point is that you can re-set what’s normal through engagement, through application, and by willing to be uncomfortable enough — purposefully and in a focused way for a definite outcome (not masochistically) — to grow. You actually get ‘comfortable’ being ‘uncomfortable’ when it’s for the purpose of gaining a new aptitude or capability. That’s the only way we progress. We are willing to be ‘bad’ for awhile en route to learning how to be ‘good’ at something. My mentor and later collaborator M. Scott Peck used to say that there is a “paradoxical joy” that comes from being able to handle a greater magnitude of problem than you once were able to, and to be able to take it (relatively) in your stride. So the caliber of challenge that once knocked you for a loop, is now no issue. You are able to take on greater problems with the same expenditure of emotional energy, and perhaps even physical energy, that once was required by relatively trivial issues. That is the very essence of growth.

And indeed the walks seem perceptually now far more abundant in visual stimuli, in opportunities to savor the company of my walking companions, as well as some refreshing solitude for large swatches of the walk, because of the energy that isn’t needed to somehow force my feet to keep moving.

Two years ago, the organizers decided they could no longer keep the walks going. They said they were too ‘expensive’. I made so bold as to mention to some of the city authorities that since versions of these walks were running from the hills of Japan to Vancouver Washington, from Castlebar Ireland to Arlington Virginia (hence demographic density could hardly be an issue), that perhaps the problem was not the event, but rather how it was being run! Of course they disagreed! You will see this with clients as well, and frankly with many of us. We claim that our problems demonstrate that something is impossible or not doable, not that we’re handling it without the necessary acumen, acuity, perseverance or imagination! Much easier on our ego — but devastating in terms of opportunity cost. All those people who once came over to Victoria, presumably stayed in hotels, ate at restaurants, went shopping — surely there were ‘non-event’ windfalls for the city of Victoria? And therefore, surely sponsorships and other advantages could be secured as they have by other global cities to create “viability?”

Some local walking clubs decided to resurrect the walks under the title, “Phoenix Walking Festival” (from the ashes literally). They had over double the anticipated registrants for this barely publicized walk, organized by these non-profit clubs! So at least it’s back, albeit as a shadow of its former self, with far less by way of revenues, global PR, or people from around the world!  But hey, now it’s ‘viable’. Go figure…

Anyway, let’s all beware of assuming the problem is in the stars rather than in ourselves as the Bard suggested so provocatively and insightfully.

In Victoria, to mention those hedonistic aspects, we had a lovely suite at the historic Empress Fairmont. We found a place for savory Pho Soup (that gorgeously addictive Vietnamese delicacy), had superb Sicilian Pizza for lunch, luscious Gelattos, an impressive Raj-like Indian buffet one day at the Bengal Lounge at the Empress, a superb dinner at the Empress Room with a beautifully seasoned and textured crab bisque followed by a succulent canon of lamb with a Quintessa Cabernet 1999 and capped by a hot croissant bread pudidng (astonishing!), and the eclectic ‘Schnitzel House’ scored big once more with its escargots, Goulash and “Cordon Bleu” Schnitzel (with ham and cheese). We spent time together, with a beloved friend, took carriage rides, walked beautiful streets, and toasted the metaphor of our ‘new normal’ as we savored the challenge and exhilaration of the half marathon on Sunday.

We’ve decided that for us,  this time in Victoria, these challenges and joys, are VERY viable! We just have to continue to work on ourselves and our lives to ensure they remain so.

When walking or otherwise, that’s the game!

AIG that perpetual money sucking ‘living dead’ insurer, deemed ‘too large to be allowed to fail’, had a dispiriting announcement of huge bonuses. While ‘outrage’ has been expressed on both sides of the political aisle, AIG has claimed contractual commitments as a defense. People have said however that taxpayers who are hurting are unlikely to find that very reassuring. The ‘optics’ as one commentator put it, are terrible.

However, it’s more than optics. The denouement of the Jon Stewart/Jim Cramer dust-up which occurred on THE DAILY SHOW last Thursday (if you’re reading this in parts of the world where this has gone unnoticed and hence reads like ancient Greek, go onto the THE DAILY SHOW website and watch some of the exchanges — quite edifying as a journalistic ‘moment of truth’), was when Stewart poignantly pointed out that we need to go back to a time when you were rewarded for the fruits of your effort, for integrity, for being imaginative yet also playing by ethical rules, not by gaming the system, or partaking in a runaway orgy of greed and financial gamesmanship.

Yesterday, heading to an unusually satisfying movie (SUNSHINE CLEANING), I saw a book extolling the lost pleasures of conversation. It led me to consider how much of modern entertainment seems to be in the attention-diffusing business. Great conversations concentrate attention on the people you’re conversing with as well as yourself, and hopefully on the stimulus as well as the pleasure of the interaction.

Sadly, on review, the book didn’t live up to the dust jacket hype. It was ironically more about how to ‘game’ various conversations — be they romance conversations, business conversations or otherwise.  It was more about gimmicks, not the type of engagement and authenticity of exchange that real conversations are about. It has to, again, be about more than optics!

I’m convinced we need better conversations taking place now more than ever — in government, between government and citizens-at-large, between businesses and customers, between businesses and stakeholders, between families and friends, between intimates of all stripes.

“At a dinner party, one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely (W. Somerset Maugham).”  In life, the well from which we draw our wisdom should not be the shouted assurances of Messrs. Cramer and co. and their ilk, but the more deliberate exchanges, and consideration of alternative points of view, afforded most often by wide-scale reading and wide-ranging conversation.

Mark Twain once suggested to someone that they stop “communicating” with each other so they could start conversing. Well, let’s at least stop communicating at each other. In the week ahead, let’s have some great conversations! And then, let’s keep them going…and expand them!